It was my night to cook. That’s usually not a cause for concern, but tonight would be different.
My wife, a marvelous, adventurous cook who can improvise in the kitchen the way Don Rickles can on stage, was working late. So being the gracious husband I am, I said I’d make dinner. I’m no Iron Chef, [...]
Entries Tagged as ‘Humor’
November 8, 2009
The incredibly sorry saga of the Roasted Garlic Peppercorn Sauce
March 15, 2009
CSI: Conroe, Texas
When you go on vacation during Christmas, you expect to spend time in the loving bosom of your family, not at a former crime scene.
We packed three people and seemingly tens of thousands of presents into the car headed to Texas to visit my wife’s family over the Christmas. Had this been a less buy [...]
March 4, 2009
5 hours, 4 states, 2 people, 1 car and the worst restaurant in Nebraska
A nice warm spring evening, time on our hands, what to do? Drive to Nebraska!
My wife, Malissa, had moved here from Houston recently and was eager to explore her new territory. Plus, she had spent as little time in Great Plains states as I had spent in Texas. So with some time on our hands [...]
February 17, 2009
An open letter to the people of Earth
Dear Earthlings,
WTF? Seriously. WTF?
Do you guys have any idea of what you’re doing? There aren’t that many Earth-like planets in the Universe and you’re all on the verge of screwing yours up. What do you propose to do then? Ideas? I didn’t think so.
I’ve been around the galactic block a few times and I’ve got [...]
February 15, 2009
Death and Taxes
Of the twin inevitabilities of death and taxes, I choose taxes.
I spent an afternoon filling out boxes such as “Form 1120S, Schedule M-1, Reconciliation of Income (Loss) per Books with Income (Loss) per Return. Note: Schedule M-3 required instead of Schedule M-1 if total assets are $10 million or more.”
Trust me, I’m not in danger [...]
February 7, 2009
25 Random Things About Me
The latest fad/time waster on Facebook is “25 Random Things About Me,” a list of – wait for it – 25 random facts about themselves that people share with the world. It’s funny, pathetic, vain, pompous and delightfully voyeuristic all at the same time. So naturally I want in on it. So here I am, [...]
January 28, 2009
An ode to my state on Kansas Day
‘Twas the night before Kansas Day and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring not even an ornate box turtle.
Carrie Nation’s stocking were hung by the chimney with care
in hopes that the WCTU soon would be there.
The farmers were nestled all snug in the beds
with visions of crop subsidies dancing in their heads.
With Kathleen [...]
January 25, 2009
A 15% gratuity will be added to this blog post
We ordered pizza last night, “the usual,” 2 large, original crust, one with pepperoni and pineapple and one with Italian sausage and bacon. Yummy. Only one problem: it took almost two hours for them to arrive.
Thanks to a series of problems – our ticket was misplaced, the wrong toppings were applied, new pies were [...]
January 19, 2009
Done in by tech support
Here’s one of the many things that irk me: when a company screws up and makes you fix their problem. (I’m writing this as I’m on hold awaiting the second level of technical assistance.)
I had Internet service through a large international company whom we’ll call BT&T. I’m not going to identify them because of possible [...]
January 16, 2009
Summing up a life
A friend I haven’t heard from in more than 20 years sent me a note on Facebook recently. After updating her on marriages, kids, jobs, I said “here are some other points in my life over the last 20 years.”
Sober for 21 1/2 years.
Much wider than I used to be. Gray in the beard. Too [...]
