Idle because of Idol

I’m exiled to the kitchen tonight, all on account of the prissy little Ryan Seacrest.
Tonight marks the beginning of my Tuesday and Wednesday night sojourn from in front of the TV to anywhere Randy, Paula, Simon and Ryan aren’t.
My wife loves American Idol. Loves it with a capital L. Loves it with a “put it [...]

Looking toward 2009 in haiku

January
Starts with a hangover
Then endless snow and cold temps
Winter never ends
February
Black History Month
The shortest month of the year
Who came up with that?
March
In like a lion
Then drinks a lot of green beer
Leaves like a lamb
April
The blossom of spring
Renewal brings hope for year
Tax Day takes it away
May
Time to mow the yard
Watch out for the dog poop, [...]

Inevitable signs that Christmas is over

The radio begins playing “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Kwanzaa.”
Same candy aisle but sign changes from Christmas to Valentine’s Day.
There is a buzz in the air about The Meineke Car Care Bowl game.
Shoppers pass each other on the streets, saying “Happy Boxing Day.”
Hallmark has a new line of “I know you’ll return this [...]

Top 10 Reasons Why Barack Obama Will Make a Better President Than I Would

10. Constitutional Law. He taught it. I’ve heard of it.
9. He can use a BlackBerry. I cannot figure out something as simple as how to answer a phone call on my wife’s “CrackBerry.”
8. His wife actually wants to be First Lady. My wife grew up the daughter of a politician and wants no part – [...]